Last week’s survey results, and a shameless bribe

Last week I sent out our first survey about what you like best about the newsletter, and what you’d like to see more of. I got great feedback, but I didn’t get the number of responses I was really hoping for.

So, I’d like to try it again and this week I’m offering a juicy bribe to get you to take it: a free month’s access to the new community I’m forming forming over at the elumeEd website: the elumeNATION! Think of it as a much cooler version of a Facebook group. For those who filled out the survey last week, I wasn’t collecting email addresses then: please email me at [email protected] and I’ll send you the super secret link.

Some features of the community will be:

• You can post, chat, share, and ask questions of the rest of the group

• Regular, candid, and unscripted videos from yours truly (you too, if you want to post them!) that won’t appear anywhere else; enjoy my off the cuff thoughts on pretty much everything to do with dementia after 20+ years in the business, and ask questions that I’ll respond to personally

• Free access to a different premium course every month. The usual subscription price to the elumeNATION is a ridiculously low $3.99/month, compared to our price of $6.99 for our least expensive course. I wasn’t very good at math in school, but if you get a course for free each month then I think that’s a good deal!

So, take the quick survey and look for the coupon code at the end when you submit your answers. Sign up for a month, kick the tires, and see if you want to hang out with the gang. It’s a brand new community, so you’ll have a chance to shape the group and become a foundational voice as an early adopter. I hope to see you there!

Here’s the survey, round 2:

Estate documents that everyone needs in place today!

Strong (but true) statement ahead: unless you hate your family and want to make their lives a living hell, don’t wait on putting together your own end-of-life documents, and do everything you can to get them in place for a loved one you care for. It’s melodramatic, I know, but I learned this first-hand as my mom’s power of attorney. I don’t care if you’re 24 years old and the very picture of perfect health. If something happens to you tomorrow, who can speak to the care you want? Who can authorize financial decisions for you? Does anyone even know what your medical wishes are?

Since my father passed and my mother developed Alzheimer’s disease, I have realized that the greatest gift they ever gave me (apart from karate classes when I turned 8 years old, of course) was having all of their documentation in order in case they were not able to make their own decisions anymore. Their preparation gives me the power to provide my mother with the care that she needs but can no longer understand or request.

This document from the Alzheimer’s Association details seven important documents that you should look at immediately. If you’re missing any of them, please do some research. They are:

At this point in my mother’s journey, the financial and healthcare powers of attorney have been useful beyond measure. They are like magic wands. Suddenly files are opened up for me, her health history is available, I can pay her bills and manage her finances, and professionals listen when I make demands regarding her care.

If you can afford to have a lawyer draw these up, that’s perfect! But many of us can’t. If you’re in that camp, there are several online services that will give you affordable ways to create them yourself. This is the route that I took to create my own documents. Follow the directions carefully, and make sure to get them notarized as needed. (Pro-tip: a mobile notary will come to you and make the process more convenient.)

One more note: I know these decisions can cause wars within families, but try to have the same person be named the financial and healthcare power of attorney. I saw one particular family where one sibling was named the healthcare POA, and the other was named the financial POA. There is now a deep rift in the family over disagreements about care and money, relationships are irretrievably broken, and the healthcare has surely suffered. In my experience, consolidated power here is important.

“But,” you say, “my parent/spouse/etc. refuses to put this paperwork in order!”

Often, seniors don’t want to deal with these matters. They may shy away from considering the possibility of dementia and the inevitability of death. There’s no perfect way to deal with this that works every time. It can take a lot of indirect work and downright sneakiness to get it done, and at the end of the day you can’t make them. But do everything you can. Here are some ways to approach the conversation:

1. Be calm and relaxed. If you’re tense and nervous, they will be too.

2. Avoid telling them what they “have” to do. If someone tells me I have to eat a whole pint of ice cream, I’m not going to! OK, I will. But I won’t like it! Ultimatums make people immediately resistant.

3. Is your loved one secretly worried about losing control of their life? Let them know that having these documents is how they stay in control, even when they’re incapacitated.

4. Focus on all of the benefits of having these documents. They will save tremendous time and expense so that medical care can be provided without a team of lawyers and a million trips to the courthouse. Would they rather their money go to a lawyer or toward providing care for them?

5. You can frame it as a “financial review” to get them to the lawyer’s office. Don’t talk about a POA or will, and coach the lawyer on the context so that they can introduce the subject appropriately.

6. Present the meeting as a casual consultation. You can even say that you need them to come and help you with advice about your own estate planning. (Again, let the lawyer know to play along before you get there.

7. Make it feel more social by positioning it as part of a day out. It can be in the middle of two favorite activities to keep them focused on something fun.

Or get creative in your own way. If you can manage to get this documentation in place — for both you and your loved one — you will be far ahead of the crowd should it become necessary later.

• Legal Documents (Alzheimer’s Association)

Video on deck for next week: our first expert interview!

It’s our very first expert interview, and it’s with my dear friend Miles Coleman. Miles is an exceptional herbalist in the Taoist tradition of the prestigious Gau family. When I met him, I was a skeptic: then I did what he told me to do and found that my various dings, dents, and ailments actually got better. I became interested, then intrigued, and then fascinated with this tradition. I’ve taken some of his in-depth classes since then, and I even hosted him in Arizona for a seminar that he taught.

For the purposes of our discussion, it’s important to note that his own mother lives with dementia and he can speak to that issue with depth and compassion using a paradigm from literally the other side of the world.

I’m excited to get his thoughts on the differences between eastern and western thought on dementia, what eastern methods can and can’t do, and how those different medicinal metaphors compare and contrast. Tune in next week for this exciting video!

Score a win-win in the fight against dementia!

I hope you love reading our newsletter as much I love writing it! If you do, please check out our other reasonably priced educational materials. With your support, I’m hoping to someday break away from corporate health care to focus exclusively on you! There are lots of corporate trainers in the world, but there’s only one of me! Every bit of support carries me one step closer, and gets you valuable information that will revolutionize your care. Click the links below to see what’s on offer!