Ben’s Corner: From Spreadsheets to Heartbeats — I'm Choosing You and Our Fight Against Dementia—Full Time

Hi everyone! I want to let you in on some news from my life, because it affects us all in a very positive way.

As of 3/14/2025, everyone I serve through The Dementia Newsletter and elumenEd is my full time job. After 23 years, I walked away from what a lot of people would consider a dream job working in senior housing because I have a bigger dream: being a part of your lives and sharing our mutual struggle against dementia one story, one caregiver, one loved one at a time.

It has been exciting to watch the retirement communities I worked for grow into a powerhouse. I was there at the beginning and got to have my hand in shaping it. I was treated exceptionally well, and will always be grateful. Now that we're a major contender in the industry, though, there have been a lot more spreadsheets and a lot fewer on-the-ground moments. I don't mean that in a bad way at all: I will always love those people and recommend that company. My mom lives in the very first community we built, and I think it's the best care in the world for her. However, that business was finally just too big for this small town kid to have fun to have fun anymore. In contrast, what I’m doing here is really, really fun. I want more of this.

I see what my mom has given up in recent years, what has been taken from her by this disease, and how short our time is. I'm 48. I still have a long career ahead of me to make a difference for you, so that is what I'm choosing. I'm choosing you.

I'll need your support. This has been a passion project so far, and I've been willing to lose a fairly tidy sum of money on it to be of service. Now, it has to pay the bills. If what I'm doing is of value to you, would you please consider any of the following?

• Pick up a valuable course over at elumenEd for as little as $7.

• Subscribe for free to The Dementia Newsletter if you haven’t already and recommend it to a friend.

• Send me your ideas for improvement or requests for certain kinds of training.

• Recommend what I'm doing to someone who needs community and support.

• Pick up a book from The elumenEd Bookstore.

• Donate a few bucks at my Paypal donation site.

I’m betting on my belief that you want an advocate who is here for “the little guy.” If you do, now is the time to let me know. If you have suggestions, requests for content, words of encouragement, or anything else, send them over to [email protected].

You have my full attention. I will give you everything I've got. Thank you for being here and sharing this experience with me. ❤

The Dementia Newsletter and elumenEd start, REALLY start, now.

🎉 More Amazing News! 🪅 

We now have 15,000 subscribers to The Dementia Newsletter! I’m in awe, and I have such gratitude for the community we are building together. It’s an amazing thing to see this message of hope resonate so powerfully and so quickly. We’re at the beginning of something HUGE here! Thanks for being a part of it.

✈️ Need a Lift? The “Thing with Feathers” Will Get You Flying! 📚️ 

I wanted to share a couple classic texts of hope and endurance that have kept me moving forward this week. I hope they are as inspiring for you as they were for me.

When You’ve Only Got a Minute

• “‘Hope’ is the Thing with Feathers” by Emily Dickinson. Only ten of Dickinson’s nearly 1800 poems were published in her lifetime, yet she is recognized today as one of the most important poetic voices of 19th-century American literature. This poem sustains me when I need it most.

If You Have More Time

• [Recommendation from Newsletter subscriber Ana Maria H.] As a Man Thinketh¹ by James Allen. First published in 1903, this book is an indispensable classic in the “self help” genre that is still very relevant in today’s world. In the author’s words: “[This book] shows how, in his own thought-world, each man holds the key to every condition, good or bad, that enters into his life…” Thank you, Ana Maria!

• Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief by Pauline Boss. Boss’ work on what she terms “ambiguous loss” is groundbreaking in the field of psychology and has a profound importance for the complicated grieving process of dementia caregivers.

Do you have a recommendation for suggested reading, watching, or listening? Send it to [email protected] and if I pick your suggestion I’ll credit you in the Dementia Newsletter that week.

📰 Top News of the Week 📰 

This week we’ve got lots of possible dementia predictors showing up in the research. Additionally, there has been some headway made in research around helpful therapies that are more accessible for all, and you’ll find some great information about best practices in dementia care including what we can improve in our own care based on what we saw in the death of beloved actor Gene Hackman and his wife Betsy Arakawa.

Dementia Predictors:

• Earliest Alzheimer's and Parkinson's sign that happens 'decades before’ (GetSurrey): this decline of one of our senses is among the earliest predictors of dementia. Want to guess which sense?

• Scientists Discover a Trait in Speech That Foreshadows Cognitive Decline (Science Alert): a new study points out the speech patterns to be aware of as we look for early signs of dementia.

• AI Can Predict Dementia Years Before You Have Any Symptoms (Vice): it seems like artificial intelligence is being used for virtually everything these days, and one of the places where it is starting to look very promising is the early detection of dementia risk.

This Week in Research

• Rosemary and Sage Could Lead to Better Alzheimer’s Treatment (Discover Magazine): although this is not news to many in the herbalist community, scientific research is starting to catch up.

• Time-restricted feeding may help manage Alzheimer's symptoms, study finds (Medical News Today): Time-restricted feeding, better known as intermittent fasting, is now being linked to a reduction in risk of cognitive decline.

• Deprescribing for dementia (University of Southampton): “Scientists are calling for ‘deprescribing’ to be integrated into routine medical care for patients with dementia, to reduce risks and cut out unnecessary medication.”

News about Best Practices in Care

• Alzheimer’s Expert Suggests Caregiver Emergency Plans After Deaths of Gene Hackman and Wife Betsy (Parade): what lessons can we learn from the tragic deaths of Betsy Arakawa and Gene Hackman? Read expert suggestions here.

• Caregiver sibling has come up with a new way to keep brothers and sisters accountable (Syracuse): as many of us have found out the hard way, family relations — especially with siblings — can be a minefield to navigate. In a letter to the editor, one woman tells how she has managed it masterfully.

• Two of the best ways to respond to people with dementia who think they are in a different time or place (The Conversation): it’s always great to “up” our communication game. This article has some expert ideas and observations for communicating with your loved one when they are disoriented.

• Pleasantly confused: Finding the balance in dementia care (McKnights): Renee Kinder talks about the joys and difficulties of raising her sweet, outgoing, and often oblivious sons and compares their experience of the world to someone living with dementia: “People with dementia often appear pleasant and cheerful, seemingly unaware of the risks or challenges they may face. Beneath this exterior, however, can be confusion, disorientation, and a loss of awareness about their surroundings.”

🎉 Join the Cause 🎉 

Hi newsletter family! For months, I have operated this publication “in the red” because I believe so strongly in its vital importance. That’s also why I write it the “old-fashioned” way, without using AI. Now that I’m doing this full time, it has to pay the bills. I need your support. Any donations or purchases you make will go a long way toward keeping this project viable into the future!

PS, if you think giving just a dollar isn’t a big deal, we have 15,000 subscribers now! If everyone gave a dollar a month, this newsletter would be secure well into the future. I don’t mean to go all “PBS telethon” on you, but every donation or purchase is sorely needed right now! You can scan the QR code below to donate, click this link, or browse our products to help the cause.